is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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