His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You did what with his pubic hair?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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