So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
