She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
