is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i dont even know how to be here
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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