shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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