Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
