Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
