Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
