the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
