Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
