She is in my trunk
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Randomize
