Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
