Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
