she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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