Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
