His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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