Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
