Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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