oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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