i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
