So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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