My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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