After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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