from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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