dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
