She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
