i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
