Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
