I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
