my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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