Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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