we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
