I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
