We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
