And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
