Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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