He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
