she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
