I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
