Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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