before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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