Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
