How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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