i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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