please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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