You were right. It hurts to walk today.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
