you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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