I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
