It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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