I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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