he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i need some magic done to my vagina
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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