It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We're too hungover to prance.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
