you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
