haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
