U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Found your dick twin last night
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
